Today is Day 8. Officially we are starting week 2 of my growth. Week 1 is complete.
If I were a human embryo growing, I would be approximately 2.63% done growing into a tax rebate for someone.
If I were a puppy gestating inside of it’s mother, I would be 11.11% percent closer to chewing on shoes until the end of my days.
If I were the spawn of an orca, I would be 1.35% closer to feasting on seals and kicking sharks’ asses. Or jumping through flaming hoops in Sea World.
Fortunately, I am none of these. For I am much more of a man- I am a Beard. And nothing is more manly than a Beard… well, except for maybe the Orca. Jumping through flaming rings and kicking sharks’ asses is pretty damn manly.