There was a Pentagon Study conducted that says Beards are directly related to combat effectiveness. (thanks to Elroy for pointing that out). This is undeniable proof that beards do in fact lead to a more badass version of you.
In the article, there is a picture of a man that states “this Special Forces soldier’s beard is responsible for over 200 enemy kills”. I have to believe it- it was one gorgeous beard.
The study goes on to state that soldiers with beards had high accuracy of fire, absolutely zero mortality rate, and were pretty much bringers of death. Those without beards experienced higher weapon malfunctions, and basically… “shit went wrong most of the time”.
You should read the story. Maybe it will convince you to finally grow a pair and grow a beard.